Archive for humor

I Go To Sleep

Posted in humor, satire and sarcasm, social commentary with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2009 by blackstarr

The events of the last few days have been quite surreal, particularly on the night that my mother was in the hospital, depending on life support to keep her going.  My sister and I were there already and the doctor said that it would be best if we took mom off of support as it is probably causing her more pain than doing any good.  We insisted that she be kept going at least until my brother gets to the hospital.  He arrived, he kissed mom on the cheek, and my mom’s life, as we knew it, was over.  It was like a scene out of a movie: the parent refuses to die until all of their children are assembled before them.  Waaay too surreal.  Well, if you know even just a little bit about me, you know that I don’t do “touchy-feely” and, yes – that was touchy-feely.  I had my reasons, which will come to light.  For now, amidst our tragedy . . . comic relief.

I know that in some way or another, we will all find ourselves either depending on life support or already past that point, awaiting that ride across the River Styx.  Before my time gets here, I plant to grab fifteen minutes of fame, along with about an hour more thrown in for good measure.  Now, before my fellow Christians crucify me, it goes without saying that all things that I hope for are proceeded with the phrase “God willing”, for I can only accomplish the things that God allows for me.  On the other hand, I’ve never been politically correct either – I just try to tell it like it is – without the wordplay. 

So, if – or more appropriately – when I have obtained that fame (with the extra hour), I should be filthy rich.  I hope that you’re paying attention because there will be a test later in life. All of this obligates each of you and gives you yet one more responsibility.  “How so?”, I hear you asking.  Well, believe it or not, I love you tweeple, you people, you Field Negroes (as opposed to the House Negroes), and as such, you will probably be in my will.  In fact, you WILL be in my will.  That’s where your obligation comes in.  There is a headline that you should be looking for at some point in the future.  If a particular situation should come to pass, it will probably read something like this:

“Famed writer and director blackstarr lies on life support as friends and family argue back and forth about pulling the plug or keeping him going!”

Drop whatever you’re doing and hop a “red-eye” to Philly if you have to!  Don’t you let them pull any plugs !!!  Don’t listen to what some foolish doctor has to say!!!  KEEP ME GOING FOR AS LONG AS THERE IS MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT!!!! I hear you thinking already:  Dude, that is expensive as H*ll.  Remember that by that time, I will be filthy rich.  Leave me in whatever room they put me in and have the specialist flown in everyday to check on me.  You see, the more they move me, the more the chance of a cord coming loose or some dingbat nurse plugging in things the wrong way.  And why should you care?  I told you – you’re in the will.  As long as my wishes are carried out, you all will be taken care of.

Here’s the second headline for which you should be on the lookout:

“Funeral services for blackstarr will be held . . .”

Again – stop whatever you’re doing and get back to Philly, making sure that there is no funeral, no memorial, no repast, nor anything remotely resembling any of the above.  The beautiful and dazzling woman could not have put it better: “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina!”.  I reiterate her words over and over.  Don’t cry for me.  I am but a starving artist at the moment, yet even at this point in my life, I can say that I have lived a wonderful life.  At that point in my life, you KNOW that I will have had a great time.  So please . . . shed no tears for me.

I like fire.  I like the flames that it produces.  I like the colors that it creates.  I was born on February 1st and, as a result, nearly every party that I’ve thrown in my adult life has ended up in near disaster.  I remember one year it snowed so badly that three people showed up: my girlfriend, the bartender, and me!  So, more than anything else, I like the warmth that emanates from that fire.  When I die, cremate me!  Let my a$$ burn until there is nothing left but ashes!  When it’s all over, take a trip to the west coast and scatter my ashes in the Pacific Ocean so that I can watch the sun set everyday.  No tears for the kid!

It’s important that you carry out my wishes and for good reason.  Remember first that, by that time, you’ve got big bucks coming your way.  More importantly, I don’t care if I have 500 million dollars in the bank – If there is a memorial, a burial, a funeral, any of those things that I mentioned before or anything close, all of my money will go to charity.  Just so that we are clear, let me say that one more time:  all of my money will go to charity!  I HATE that “touchy-feely” stuff! I can’t control it in anyone else’s life, but I should certainly be able to control it in my own.  Did you know that some lady left her fortune to all of her cats?  Did you know that a man in England left his money to the care of a tree in the wilderness?  You can do that, you know.

Later in life, there will be a test. By then, this blog may have long been deleted, or  may be inaccessible, or any number of untimely circustances may prevent you from re-reading this.  So, if you don’t know how, learn: copy, paste, save to file.  That way, you will have notes to look back on when the test comes, and it will be “open-book”.  Don’t be caught with the dumb-look on your face wondering “What do I do now?”   Copy, paste, save to file.

Just make sure that you shed no tears for me.  To that end, make certain that there are no services held – key word: cremation.  But if that plug is keeping me alive, do everything in your power to keep it plugged in.  Ya never know!  Peace.

freerealm@gmail.com

© 2009 freedom

“I Go To Sleep” by Sia

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Where the h*ll have YOU been?!

Posted in social commentary with tags , , , , on September 16, 2009 by blackstarr

M.I.A. is too good a term for my lack of postings.  That term, for me, brings back thoughts of heroes who disappeared while stationed in Vietnam.  I’m no hero but I was, indeed, missing . . . for quite some time.  I won’t say that I’m back, but, rather, making my presence known and alerting the world that I am still here and very much alive.

electronic chip 01

There was another incident that kept me off the electronic highway – my DSL went down for over a week!  As it turned out, my modem was bad.  VERIZON sent me another one poste-haste and after connecting it, my DSL was still down.  Of course while all of this is going on, keep in mind that I was back and forth with customer service (yes – I use the term very lightly).  Each and every rep with whom I spoke was extremely “English challenged”, to coin a phrase.  The “final” outcome was that there was a problem on my line.  Now, I retired from VERIZON when I was a service tech (one who installs and repairs telephone service for a living), and I assure you that there was no problem on my line.  After a few days, I was told that there was a problem in the office, not my line.  I don’t have a video phone but I can say with certainty that both a Black man and an Hispanic man called me to say that there was no trouble in the office.  The real problem was that the modem that I was sent was very new and quite complicated to configure.  They told me what to ask for when I next called for technical assistance.  When I called, I asked for the very same – to no avail.  I called the Hispanic gent back and told him of my quandary and he said that he could do nothing to help me as he was not trained in that capacity.  He was, however, very gracious in transferring me to the Black gent with whom I had spoken earlier.  He took about ten minutes of my time telling me what to do and, voila, my DSL was back up and working.  I was extremely pleased that my problem had been solved, but, I think that I was more impressed by having two gents  assist me who spoke fluent English!

twitter_logo 01

That is when my “mobile troubles” began.  TWITTER is nothing more than time wasted foolishly.  It is not productive, is non-utilitarian, and the same results can be accomplished by already existing entities.  However – non-productive, non-utilitarian, and redundancy is exactly what I’ve been looking for – blind indulgence, if you will.  Ever since my DSL went down, I have not been able to log in to my mobile TWITTER account.  I accomplished that feat yesterday while inside. next to my PC and was whistling Dixie when it happened.  However, once back outside and in the public arena, I could not log in with my cell phone.  I was distressed once again.  I tweeted last night that I hope to have a decent cell phone by the end of the week and all of my “tweet” troubles will be behind me.  We shall see.

Evony 01

I also spent a lot – no wait – an extreme amount of time playing a MMORPG (Massively Multi-playing Online Role Play Game) entitled EVONY (which can be found at evony.com).  It is a game that combines a sim-type game, a role-play game, and a war game for an exciting and time-consuming experience.  I won’t even go into details as I could go on for forever about the game, but, if you have the time and patience and don’t mind becoming addictive to yet another distraction, head to the site and let the fun begin.  I know – I’ve already said it, but, let me reiterate – extremely addictive!

whoopigoldberg 01

My e-troubles brought up an interesting thought:  why is it that when our technological toys are not responding properly, we lose our minds?  I love the time spent with my children.  I bike ride with my best bud just about every weekend and it brings on hours of fun and conversation.  I can go for days without turning on the TV, radio, or my MP3 player.  Yet, when the internet and all of its wealth of information becomes unavailable, I swear that I just about lose it.  It’s almost like my world has come to an end.  Sad, indeed.  I’m not (all that) embarrassed to let you know that I am a somewhat fan of  The View (on ABC).  Believe it or not, I can’t take my eyes off of Whoopi and Sherri.  Yeah – sue me.  At any rate, I quote their motto that is used at the end of each show: “Take some time to enjoy the view”.  Peace.

copyright © 2009 freedom

freerealm@gmail.com

“It’s A Beautiful Morning” by Felix Cavaliere and Edward Brigati

“It’s A Beautiful Morning” by The Wipe Outs

W.T.D. 01.05.09

Posted in humor, just for the bull of it, satire and sarcasm, social commentary, WTG (Walking The Dog) with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by blackstarr

walking the dog 01Well, I’m not really walking the dog, today.  I’m more or less clearing the old brain cells of leftover nonesense from the year that has recently departed.  Never let it be said, however, that I am not the Angry Black Man anymore, because I am and ever will be.  Today – I’m just not feelin’ it.

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I want to welcome everyone to 2009 and offer my sincere wishes that this will truly be your year and that when it’s all said and done, this will be the year that finds you in the place that you’ve always wanted to be.  God willing, it will surely be my year.  Don’t even ask me about New Year’s resolutions.  It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just that I’ve broken so many before that I am currently banned by Pennsylvania law from making any more.  So . . . don’t ask.

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Way across town, in the neighborhood that I once (or twice) lived, I always drive past a store with the most peculiar name: JUST ROSES and MORE.  WTH?  I still shake my head at that one.

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I often ponder, as well as ask the question, but never do I get an answer:  Why is it that we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?  Why is  that?  Huh?  Why?

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Speaking of hoochies, I came across this little gem a few days ago. > click here <  Put that outfit on and I guarantee you that you can lounge around on my sofa all summer long and I will not be mad at cha for doing so!  That is like seriously sensual eroticism.  I don’t remember where I got that photo, but, I removed all of the extraneous letters in the URL and went to the main page – don’t do it!!  It is some crazy all-out porn!!

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Sensual eroticism?  I admit that to be a phrase which borders on redundancy.  So . . . how’s about a few oxymora (plural of oxymoron) to help you get started on your busy day?  For me, they are always good for at least a hint of a smile.  Here are three that guarantee a chuckle from yours truly:  original copy, the same difference, and the ever wonderful military intelligence.  Try these on for size:

pretty ugly

only choice

clearly confused

plastic glasses

Stop by FUN WITH WORDS for more delicious words and phrases that should never be in the same room at the same time.

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FLY, EAGLES, FLY! ‘Nuff said.

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I am not and will never ever be politically correct, nor will I practice semantics.  For me, it is what it is.  I call people “retarded” because it is my term of endearment for those who say things in an “out-of-the-way”, original manner that makes me smile.  I call women “fat” by way of a compliment because I simply adore “fat” women.  They bring me joy.  “Fat” is just not a bad word in my vocabulary.  It’s not that I am trying to be insensitive when I say such things, it’s just that . . . it is what it is.  I make no excuses nor do I pardon myself for the things that I say and the way that I say them.  OK, except when it comes to you ladies – you get me every time.  Therefore, I apologize in advance for what flows from my feeble brain: when it comes to logic, for the most part, women just don’t get it.  Why is that?  It’s because (according to the experts) women function mostly with the emotional and creative side of the brain (creative – that why ,again, according to the experts, women are so much better at lying than men – creative brainwaves).  Men, on the other hand, for the most part, think more with the logical and reasoning side of the brain.  There are opinions for and against each of those thoughts and there has never been a definitive answer as to which is better.

It’s all neither here nor there as all of that was merely a segue into the idea of opinions.  Yes – this little missive is not about women and their reasoning, but, rather, about opinions.  The group is The Doobie Brothers.  The track is “What A Fool Believes” (go ahead and click – I know you can listen and read at the same time).  Most importantly, the line from the song is “What a fool believes, no wise man has the power to reason away”.  That means that with all of one’s PhD’s, all of one’s street knowledge, and with all of the wisdom in the world, one still do not have the power to dispute what a fool believes.  In the context of the song, a fool has fallen in love with a woman who doesn’t even know that he is alive.  In his mind, however, he believes that she loves him back and that she is his.  If we remove “fool” and insert “person”, the line becomes relevant on an even higher level.  I don’t know if this was intentional, but, nevertheless, it is a coup d’etat.

The bottom line is that one person’s opinion is not subject to another’s  judgment.  An opinion has absolutely nothing to do with truth, fact, or reality.  That being the case, opinion can never be disputed.  When we see comments written about the things we post, we ofttimes see “IMO” or “IMHO”, the “o” standing for “opinion”, of course.  When you see that, take a deep breath, then exhale, and remember that it is merely one man’s opinion and nothing more.  There is actually no need to rebut.  There is no need to be angry because their thoughts differ from yours.  There is even no need to make them see the light.  They are merely expressing their opinions, key word being “opinions”.  If we take that forth with us into 2009, if we can relieve ourselves of even the slightest iota of stress from our existence, then, it means one more iota of peace and serenity put into our lives, even if for just a moment in time.  I know –  touchy-feely, but, hey.  Peace.

copyright  ©  2009  freedom

freerealm@gmail.com

Once agian, my favorite “Breathe”, by Telepopmusik . . . enjoy

Wake up, and smell the coffee.

Posted in humor, just for the bull of it, social commentary with tags , , , , , , , , on September 11, 2008 by blackstarr

Grumpiness.  Grumpiness.  Grumpiness.  Those are the three main side effects of not consuming one’s daily dose of caffeine.  Fortunately for me, I have experienced that feeling on only a few occasions in my life. – and it’s been a long life so far.  EVERY  morning starts with my first of many cups of coffee, the java bean, the cup-a-joe.  I’ll have it no other way.  That’s a serious addiction – one that I do not strive to kick any time soon.  I just came back from a short walk to the Dunkin’s that sits a few blocks from here.  I am late.  Very late.  I’m not grumpy, though, because I knew that my fix was sidetracked for but a moment in time.  I knew that the aroma that I love so much was only seconds away.

There are “people who drink coffee” and there are “coffee drinkers”People who drink coffee have little concern that they are desecrating the very sanctity of all that coffee is.  They poison it with different flavors that the coffee bean’s commercialization has deemed “hip”.  They stifle it by asking for it by it’s various insipid names:  frappachino, iced coffee, and the like.  Coffee drinkers will not be having any of that nonesense.  For us, coffee comes only one way: regular.  That can come in the form of decaf, as some of us can get a bit high-strung, as it were, but anything that is more of a deviation than that is pure sacrilege.

Dunkin’s is not one of my favorites, but, it is, at least, walkable from home.  There is no better coffee than that which comes from a diner.  That is what most would consider some strong coffee.  My buds and I would tap our cigarette ashes into our cup-a-joe, continue our conversation, and continue to drink that same cup-a-joe until the cup had been drained.  That’s how good diner coffee is.  I should say “there was no better” and “how good diner coffee was.  Back in the day, real coffee was served in a real ceramic cup, or, if you desired take-out, it was served in a paper cup.  Even in a diner, these days, coffee is served in a styrofoam cup – pure and simple desecration, once again.

For the life of me, I cannot see what millions of Americans see in Starbucks‘ “coffee”.  Coffee?  Try “the Devil’s libation”, “mud juice”, or perhaps “H*ll in a cup”.  To me, that is some of the nastiest liquids ever designed to be consumed.  Blech!!!  Not only is the mess nasty, but, it’s as expensive as H*ll.  My brother swears by it, and from time to time, I will find myself seated at one of Starbucks‘ tables along with my brother consuming this so-called coffee.  In Manhattan, there is nearly a Starbucks on every other corner.  Millions of Americans consuming that abberation on a daily – nay – hourly basis.  How sad.  I have been, for the last ten or so years, into the habit of making my own coffee, faithfully each morning when I arise.  Actually the making would be done the night before.  Only pressing the “brew” button was done upon wake-up.  I decided that I would save some coffee, as I would find myself drinking one cup, and never returning for a second or third cup.  This was merely due to my recent surge in taking care of urgencies, as opposed to not wanting my follow-up cups.  So, I started taking that walk to Dunkin’s for my morning cup.  That actually saves on the amount of coffee that I use.  However, I also find myself taking that second and third walk back to Dunkins before too long.

The blogsphere is kinda like an early morning cup of java – it gets one started in the A.M.  I start my “online experience” by visiting a few of my favorite blogs to see what is being posted for the day.    Grumpiness.  Grumpiness.  Grumpiness.  Those are the three main side effects of not having my daily dose of my favorite blogs.  I am slowly, but, surely coming back around to posting just about every day.  When I do, I trust that others will find that they need a dose of my blog to get them going.  I’ll let you in a little secret – my real name is “joelle”.  That is usually shortened to “joe”, as it were.  Therefore, liken reading my blog each day to “consuming a cup-a-joe”.  Peace.

copyright  ©  2008  freedom

freerealm@gmail.com

Coffee cup photo found at dreamstime.com

Old School Flava: 8/29/08

Posted in humor, Old School Flava, social commentary with tags , , , , , , on August 29, 2008 by blackstarr

Quiz time.  Did you pay attention?  If not, you’re probably jumpin’ up and down cryin’ “It’s not Wednesday!  Why, oh why, is he doing Old School Flava on a Friday??!!”  Freedom has no schedule, no rhyme, and no reason.  He just does what he does when he does it.  So, on this last Friday of August, allow me to entertain you with more phrases that my Moms has laid on me through the years.

FOOD

It’s a huge mistake to walk into my mother’s kitchen while she’s cooking.  Her first words are “Get outta my kitchen!”  After you ignore those words and continue to try and catch a glimpse of what’s in the pots, she tosses a wet dishrag at you and repeats herself.  Finally, when you can’t determine what’s cookin’, you ask.  Her reply?  “Daddy’s old britches”.  That means that she has peeked into the refrig and gathered up whatever has been left from the previous few nights and came up with one of her creations.  It basically means olio, stew, soup – anything that does not require starting from scratch.  There’s an underlying statement there, as well:  “None of your business!” Now, you casually stroll outta her kitchen, no wiser than the moment that you ventured in, moments of time that will never be retrieved.

GENERAL

Ever try to help someone out and end up causing more confusion than anything else?  I’m the kind of person that just hates it when someone says “You could probably . . . “ I don’t take too kindly to advice unless it is solicited.  Give me a job, back off, and let me do it.  If I need assistance, I’ll ask for it.  Otherwise, let me do what it is that you asked me to do.  Moms has an answer for that one:  “Don’t help me, help the bear”. That means “I don’t need your help, thank you”.  Now, I have no idea why the bear needs help, or why I should help him at all, but, I guess it is what it is.

Sometimes, things are just “over the top”.  I mean, plain old you-done-outdone-yourself-this-time over the top.  This particular phrase usually refers to food or beverages, but, can also be used for fashion, hairdo’s and just about everything, but, is meant specifically for food and beverages: “It’s enough to make you wanna smack your mammy down!”.  That’s definitely “mammy”, as “mommy” just won’t work here.  The statement exudes sassiness.  It alludes to the idea that something has got to be awfully good in order to make you slap your mother.  Even more so to make you wanna slap her down.

I’ll be back with lots more “down home” phrases that my Moms has laid on me.  It’s called “Old School Flava”, and it could be on a Wednesday, it could be on  Sunday, it could be on any day of the week that catches my fancy.  That’s not a bad thing, though. Just think about it: if I said it was gonna be a a particular day every week and you came back on that day and it wasn’t here, you’d be real upset with freedom.  We wouldn’t want that, now would we?  See you next time.

copyright  ©  2008  freedom

freerealm@gmail.com

Send In The Clown.

Posted in humor, just for the bull of it, social commentary with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2008 by blackstarr

What makes my skin crawl?  Two words:  Wendy Williams.  I hate that wench with a passion!  To me, she is nothing but a rumor monger and a bad one at that.  Yes – today, freedom  has his “hater cap” on.  A few years back, while in the car, with daughter in tow, daughter paused at one station to hear what the female deejay was saying.  After about thirty seconds, I asked “Who is the chick with the raunchy mouth?” Daughter replied “That’s Wendy Williams“.  I immediately responded with the notion that if she (daughter) wanted to live to see her next birthday, she’d better change the station, and quickly.  Furthermore, I said that FOR AS LONG AS YOU RIDE IN MY CAR, DON’T EVER LET ME HEAR THAT WOMAN’S VOICE ON MY RADIO, AGAIN!!” Of course daughter just turned the station and smiled.  She actually dislikes her.  Not to be confused with my own personal HATRED towards the woman.

As much as I despise the clown-makeup-wearing hag, I just had to make this post.  Usually, I try to  avoid giving “press” to those whom I can’t stomach, with the rare exception of politics when one must obligatorily give a mention.  So, why now?  I was at another blog – a well-known blog – and the author was all the rave about The Wendy Williams Show (which has been picked up by FOX – no surprise there – I mean, who else?!) and how in love she was with it, making me even more sick to the stomach with each glorifying word.  She went on to say that the mistakes that Ms Williams makes are part of the appeal (i.e. questioning time remaining, mispronunciation of names, etc).  WTF??!! That type of stupidity adds to its appeal??

OK, I wasn’t going to mention the blog (basically because I haven’t quite gotten the hang of, nor grasped the proper method for using “trackbacks”.  Go ahead – laugh – see if I don’t knock you . . .) , but,  since I am quoting from the site: it’s Racialicious (If you click on the name, it will take you to the full article, if you dare).  Now, don’t get me wrong, as I am not hating on Racialicious.  The fact of the matter is that I frequent the spot, and have much love for them.

There are two other sentences that I need to quote:

“Second, it’s so refreshing how her show completely normalizes queerness among people of color. So many of her audience members, mostly black and Latino, are casually open about their sexuality”.

First of all, what the H*ll is so refreshing about the normalization of queerness?  Secondly, as I remarked in her comment area – Big deal that her audience members are so open about their sexuality.  I’ve been open about my sexuality since I was an awkward teen, and I’ve always been proud of being heterosexual.  So what?

I’m not homophobic in the least.  Now, watch me as I use the very same stereotypical-type phrase which is so often  used by  Caucasians who say they once had an African-American friend:  I have gay friends – well, had.  Seriously, when I was in college there was a Black homosexual couple with whom I was extremely close.  My friends and their friends partied at both hetero- and homosexual clubs and parties.  During that time, as a result of hanging out with them (the couple) I developed quite an entourage of gay couples (both male and female) that I could truly call “friends”.  They are all long gone, as are most of my heterosexual friends that I met in college, but, that is due, in no small part, to the passage of time – I’ll write next week, I’ll call on their birthday, or whatever, only to find that somewhere along the line, addresses and phone numbers have been lost in the shuffle.  My point is that I didn’t just have one gay friend and am trying to use that as proof that I am not homophobic.  My friends are my friends – simple as that.  I don’t get why there is such hype about being homosexual.   So you’re gay!   BIG FREAKIN’ DEAL!!!  The fact that a show appeals to a particular group of people does not make it a wonderful show to watch.  In the end, it’s just a pitiful waste of time that can never be regained and its host is still a hag of monumental proportion.

Go right ahead and say that I’m just an old fogey and that I just don’t know what good, clean entertainment is.  I admit that I am not in touch with the pulse of today’s youth and its likes and dislikes.  So often I am at odds with my children for the remarks that they make regarding what they thought was funny or what movie is a “must see”.  I know why:  I’m old.

So be it.  I know that I am old.  When it has all been said and done, I will still be old.  Unlike Wendy Williams, who will still be a clown-makeup-wearing hag who doesn’t even realize that she is what she is.  Peace.

copyright  ©  2008  freedom

freerealm@gmail.com

Day 9 (freedom is . . . )

Posted in humor with tags , , , , , on July 18, 2008 by blackstarr

What manner of man is this?  From whence cometh he?  Just who the h*ll is this “Freedom” of whom they speak?  Could it be that he is from some other world?  Is he the long awaited . . . nah.

Seven days a week, I am an angry Black man. What, then, is an angry Black man?  This angry Black man is a man who is tired of racism, and racial discrimination, especially towards Black Americana.  This angry Black man is sick and tired of Black Americana using words that degrade Black Americana.  Since you all know the words of which I speak, I will not print them on the page.  A few days ago, I decided that I will figure out some other way to bring attention to one particular word, when necessary, without writing it down.  Taking his lead from Richard Pryor, Freedom will no longer let it be a part of his vocabulary (not that it was ever used that much by Freedom to begin with).  We need to obliterate those things which hold us down,  which hold us back, meaning the things that we do ourselves that hold us down and hold us back.  I’m not a fan of anarchy, so don’t go out there wiping out those other folks who hold us down.  That was NOT my meaning.

During those seven days a week as an angry Black man, I find time to write.  I have a novel that is close to being complete, and I will soon post a long excerpt from that very same novel for your literary entertainment.  The novel is entitled “Midnight Redemption” (copyright 2005  freedom).  The story concerns a private detective, Mike Drummond, who is rather inept at his job as a detective, but, is superb as a bounty hunter.  His finesse at bringing fugitives to justice keeps him knee deep in danger and waist high in “benjamins”.  He is on the trail of an international murderer who recently arrived in Philadelphia.  Like all pulp fiction detective stories, there is an extremely desirable damsel-in-distress who just happens to fall into the arms of an ever-ready Mike Drummond.  You will not want to miss such an exciting tale of mystery and international intrigue, so, don’t make me come looking for you.

Freedom is a father.  Freedom is the proud father of two children who will be graduating from college in May of 2009.  Freedom says that it has been a long uphill struggle to pull it off, but, he has always lived in a village, and there were plenty of elders and kin to help see him through.  Freedom says that he would not trade the journey that he has taken with the two of them for all of the tea in China, nay, all of the gold in Fort Knox. Wait – does Freedom realize just how much gold is in Fort Knox?  Does Freedom realize that he could BUY two more graduating kids?  Somebody wake that man up!!  Please!

Freedom is retired, and has no plans on doing much of anything else in life besides writing, travelling, and enjoying the company of a beautiful Black woman.  Yes – Freedom is heterosexual.  Sorry, guys.  Freedom is lazy, but, that’s because he can afford to be.  He says that he has put in his time, and has stepped aside to give the young bucks a chance at earning a living.  After all, Freedom is not greedy.  But, Freedom is lazy.  He once adopted the motto “Batteries included, no assembly required”, which pretty much described Freedom’s outlook on life.  That phrase was later dropped for the ever-popular “No pain. no mutha f*ckin’ problem”.

Come play with me, says Freedom.  I won’t bite, except sarcastically.  Freedom says “I promise not to hurt you, but, your feelings, now, that’s a different story”.  Freedom wants to be your friend . . . unless you’re a moron.  If you are, then he just wants to insult you.  And, what does Freedom say about passes?

copyright  ©  2005  freedom

freerealm@gmail.com

Flava of the Day is “Poetry Man” by Queen Latifah