For months I have tried, without success, to secure an interview with The Devil. Unfortunately, it has always been his attitude that when words get put down on paper, it is difficult, at best, to refute what has been said in the past. Therefore, it behooves him not to grant interviews. I was referred, instead, to one of his most devoted workers, The Devil’s Advocate. I must say that she was alluring, seductive, and most enticing.
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Freedom : Thank you for the interview.
Devil’s Advocate: Whatever.
What does your job entail?
Good question. Let me first say f*ck what ya heard – I am NOT the Devil’s advocate. “Advocate”, as used here, is a misnomer. I mean, I do not speak for him – I speak for myself and myself only. But, you know what really gets my goat? “The Devil is the author of confusion”. NOT! That is my claim to fame. That is my sole job: confusion. I am the author of confusion, not the Devil, but I. It’s the age-old story – worker does all of the dirt but the boss gets the credit. I guess that’s just part of that being-a-team-player-bullsh*t.
Well, alrighty, then!
That kinda makes this interview a bit of a contradiction for me, as I am not one for promoting clarification. I get my greatest pleasure when I confuse people. Smoke and mirrors gets me so hot! I am a master – mistress, rather – of taking things out of context and making them appear totally different than what they actually happen to be. Therefore, as it should be stated, I am the author of confusion.
Most say that your role is simply as an agitator, a debater of sorts. How true is that assessment?
It’s basically without fact. While that is the role that I initially take on and the face that I show, the real deal is that in the end, confusion reigns and my job is done. Sure – I start out with the idea that I will take an unpopular side just to get things rolling, but, that, again, is just smoke and mirrors. Once the debate is in full swing, the primary point is then twisted beyond repair and recognition. That’s what I’m really about.
So, then, you’re just a perpetrating, deceitful vixen?
OMD!! Why, thank you! You are ever so kind! You left out “liar”, though. I know – everybody always says “The Devil is a liar”, but, that’s just not true. I mean, think about it. The Devil makes a point of telling the truth: “I’ll make you a star, and in return, you give me your soul”, “I’ll make you rich in return for your soul”, or “I’ll make you beautiful if you give me your soul”. That’s pretty much cut and dry. He actually speaks the truth, tells it like it is. On the other hand, I am an outright liar.
(Her legs were crossed. She did a “Sharon Stone” on me and reversed the position of her legs. OMD!! Eyes agog, I continued.)
Do you consider yourself a “minion” of the Devil?
Sorry. It’s been real, but, like, I gotta run.
Run? It’s only two o’clock. You said you’d give me ’til 3.
Well, that’s just me being me. You know, confusion and all that? You’re on Eastern time, and I was talkin’ Central time. What can I say? Peace.
copyright © 2008 freedom
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Sympathy For The Devil by The Rolling Stones/The Neptunes – The video.
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“When you own the information, you can bend it all you want.” – John Mayer from “Waiting On The World To Change”.
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This entry was posted on September 16, 2008 at 2:47 am and is filed under humor, just for the bull of it, politics, social commentary with tags allure, confusion, enticement, interviews, lies, Mainstream Media, misdirection, network news, seduction, Sharon Stone, The Devil, The Devil's Advocate. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.